Dear any readers I have out there,
Apr 2, 2011 Uncategorized
Not sure how many people ever really read any of these words that I write but I don’t write for an audience, I write for me. I write so that I can try to get my feelings out. Being able to explain my feelings in a way that other people could understand makes me feel so much better just that another person understands. And I know that I’m not the only one in the world with problems. I know that everyone is going through trials and hardships, so I also hope that through my writing someone who is having a hard time can relate somehow, even if the situation is completely different. Pain, hopelessness, and hurt are universal feelings and I know that when I know that someone else has felt that way, it helps me to see that they made it out strong,
My mission statement in life is make a positive impact on the lives of those around me. I try my best not to be a burden on anyone but it is humanly impossible to make everyone happy while also trying to keep yourself happy. So sometimes you have to choose who is more important to please so that the effort doesn’t kill you.
I’m having a hard time lately with getting people to understand where I am coming from. It seems the only one who sort of seems to understand me is my mother, but even she can’t fully comprehend because she has her own opinions and thoughts 0n the matter, but she understood me when I explained to her how I was feeling. but when I tried to explain it to another person involved, it was thrown in my face. It seemed to me that the way I was feeling didn’t mean anything to this person. and She called me a selfish person for not caring about someone else… when in reality I have tried to be so sensitive to the person mentioned. I have tried to do my best to make everyone in the situation happy. I am a 19 year old girl who only has 19 years of life’s experiences under my belt, and I am doing the best that I know how to deal with this situation. I still have feelings, and as much as i want to erase some of the feelings involved in this situation, I can’t do it overnight. All I can do is stifle them the best that I can, and I am doing just that. It makes it even more difficult when the person that I am supposed to be ignoring is the one contacting me and instigating things. But i am doing my best. That is all anyone can ask of me.
I may be misunderstood, and mistreated by that particular person, but trying to convince otherwise any further would do no good. Once we have a preconceived idea of a person we are rarely convinced otherwise. So I am just forgetting about it and moving on with my life. It really makes no difference in my life if this person changes their mind or not. It hurts that they think so negatively about me, but like I stated earlier, I can’t make everyone happy. In this situation I am just trying to please My Heavenly Father and make sure that I’m happy.
<3 Dez