Day 30
Jan 31, 2012 Uncategorized
I was intending for tonight’s blog to be a vent session… However, just before I logged in I received a text message from a particular friend that made me smile and now I feel like I don’t have anything to vent about. Although, I still do, I just don’t feel like being negative.
Amazing how a simple message can do that for us. I wonder if I have ever been that little high for someone.
New goal: be that high for someone.
Anyways, I am finishing my last days at my current job that has been so good to me, but this new job is going to be a great career move. So this is a bitter sweet experience. I am really excited for all of the opportunities that are now awaiting me.
I had an incredibly busy day today, but I had the opportunity to see my best friend from 7th grade who is visiting from Oregon! We went out to eat and got to catch up a bit. She was always there for me and I could NOT have survived those awkward tween years without her.
I feel so bad for the situation that she is in now though. Her husband is into pornography, which has also led to other harmful substances such as alcohol and cigarettes. He treats her like crap and she doesn’t feel like she is loved at all.
How sad is that!? She is such an amazing daughter of God and all she needs to hear is that she is though of and cared about. She needs someone to live their life to put that smile on her face. She is a spiritual giant and I wish I could take away her pain. Her and her daughter deserve so much more.
Pornography is so evil. It destroys every aspect of all of your relations with people. The way you just look at someone becomes completely skewed.
Oh, I am just so sad for her.
My good friends husband passed away this morning due to cancer 
So I am taking a vacation this weekend to go to the funeral. They were so in love and have only been married for 6 months. It’s so heart breaking.
Going through my own health issues right now, I just want to stress how fragile we are. I think we get into the mentality that we are invincible. We drive too fast, we eat too much, and we participate in activities that should frighten us, yet we face em head on. We’ve heard the horror stories, but we all think that it will never happen to me.
But it could. It can only happen to so many other people before it’s our turn to get burned.
We need to love, forgive, lose and move one. We need to tell people how we feel and get over our emotional road blocks. We need to take a step back and realize what’s really important to us and focus on THAT.
Anyways, I have rambled enough tonight.
xoxoxo
day 29
Jan 30, 2012 Uncategorized
Random thought: I am going to have to really pay attention to which day’s post it is once a new month rolls around.
Anyways, Last night’s party was so much fun! I love dancing and getting out of the house! It was a unique party too! Throwing paint all over the place and just going insane!
Today was a beautiful Sunday. I attended church and it was so great! I was introduced to a lot of friendly people and really liked the people I met!
Our last block was so neat too! We had a Q&A with the bishopric and their wives but instead of asking the questions we texted a number and it was uploaded onto a website that was projected onto the wall. There were some very interesting questions! and it was so much fun! I absolutely loved today!
There was a fireside that I really wanted to go to but I had no one to go with so I am getting ready to go to a game night with some of the people that I met tonight.
Tomorrow, first thing in the morning I have to go get a drug test for my new job. Hopefully I will finish and still get to work on time.
Anyways,
Peace out!
xoxoxox
Day 28
Jan 29, 2012 Uncategorized
Last night was a lot of fun. One of our friends threw a birthday party for my roommate and it was a lot of fun. It wasn’t the crazy kind of party though. There was a lot of people there but it was more of a kick back. I met a lot of people that were really cool and even got free tickets to a HUGE famous party for tonight for FREE! I am way stoked for this one.
But last night was just chill, and a lot of people that I thought couldn’t care less for me, had a great conversation with me. I really appreciate the spirit prompting people to talk to me. It helps a lot. Not just because they talked to me, but because of what they said.
I also realized, that I grew up here and I have a huge family. Every where I go someone knows my family name or My family or even myself. I am kind of a celebrity here. People talk about me, support me, are all up in my business about what I do and where I go, but I like it. I like having roots here.
I slept in so long today and It was quite relaxing.
well, Off to tonight’s famous party! I’m excited!!!! 
wooo!
xoxoxox
day 27
Jan 28, 2012 Uncategorized
It’s Friday night and all I want to do is lay here watching a movie until I fall asleep on the couch. However, I will most likely end up at a raging party meeting random strangers that will walk with my number at the end of the night. Our society is so interesting me.
I rediscovered one of my favorite bands and heard their new C.D. and I am absolutely in love with it. Blink 182′s lead singer has THE most amazing voice and their lyricist is simple genius! I cannot get enough of their album.
I got a call today saying that my doctor has the results from all of my tests, but that I have to call back to hear them or make an appointment and go in to hear them. I am anxious.
Tomorrow I have an early day ahead of me but I would be kidding myself if I said that would effect what I did tonight.
I have been having some horrible nightmares lately… It’s really starting to get to me. Oh well.
I am SO excited to start my new job. It will be so great to meet so many more people!
Brave Face!
xoxox
day 26
Jan 27, 2012 Uncategorized
I got a lot of things accomplished this afternoon. I payed my rent, turned in some things for school, and did my homework.
I am now about to leave to institute with my roommate, Maria. Hopefully meet some cuties I could use someone new to flirt with! 
(just kidding… kind of) but new friends would be cool!
I am looking forward to going to sleep though. I am exhausted and do not feel very well.
Still anxiously awaiting my doctor’s call.
day 25
Jan 26, 2012 Uncategorized
Well The last couple days have been a roller coaster. It’s times like these where it’s really important to think about the little things that make us happy. Today I had to return a pair of shoes and got two in it’s place that I like even more.
I was going to be proactive and go to the batting cages to relieve some stress but couldn’t find my batting gloves anywhere (so frustrating), but that meant I didn’t have to feel bad about staying in and watching t.v.
When we lose sight of simple things, all our life is, is complicated.
I am very excited to start my new job in a week and a half. New adventures are always exciting.
I had to go back to my doctor today to do more tests, so i am anxiously awaiting his call for results.
Well, once again, sorry that this was nothing grand! keep reading though! I have 330 blogs left.
day 24
Jan 24, 2012 Uncategorized
Today has barely started but what a day!
i had to wake up way to early to come to awatuki for a doctors appointment. i was ready a while before i had to leave so i decided to treat myself to starbucks. i deserved it! so i get up to the wnindow and the guytells me he bought my drink for me and hopes i have a great day.. how sweet! That was a great way to start a nerve-wracking day!
i apologize for my poor format and uncapitalized letters in some cases.. i am posting from my mobile in the doctors waiting room.
today i am giving my two weeks notice. i am a bit nervous… but i also very excited for my new adventures and opportunities.
hope everyone has a great day!
xoxox
Day 23
Jan 24, 2012 Uncategorized
So today was quite the day! i got a great job offer so i am giving my two weeks notice tomorrow and i start on febuary 6th.
I am excited to work with a lot of new people. i enjoy meeting new faces!
I had my first night of philosophy class tonight. it went well.. it will be a very interesting class. My roommate is taking the class with me so i am glad for that!
Xoxo
New calling!
Jan 23, 2012 Uncategorized
It is the 22nd day of consecutive blogging for this here, Miss Desirae.
Well, for starters, last night’s party was a success for my roommate and I. We made some new friends and bumped into some old ones and just generally had a good time!
When we got home, we watched a movie and crashed in the living room.
This afternoon, Maria and I went to Sunday Service. Since I am new to this ward, I met with the bishopric to introduce myself and give us the opportunity to get to know each other a bit.
Before I could go anywhere, they extended to me the calling of the newsletter commissioner. Every month I release a newsletter with pictures of past activities and announce coming up activities. I am really excited to do this! It will be a great way to participate in my church but also great to learn and grow for my career!
day 21
Jan 22, 2012 Uncategorized
Parents get back from North Carolina today!
I slept in, did some pilates, and dance stretches, played guitar and ran some errands. Now i am thinking I want to go out and party but honestly I would just love to spend the day cuddling… Oh well. Partying it is.
Not every eventful.
xoxo
day 20.
Jan 21, 2012 Uncategorized
I have blogged 20 consecutive days! I should reward myself with some multiple of 20! hmmm, any suggestions?
Well, today at work I accomplished what my boss thought would take at least a week in under an hour and she was still upset… That was frustrating. But I felt good about it.
My roommate is going through beauty school and needed a model so I got a free hair cut and style and don’t forget about the *scalp massage* ahhh, It was great and I now have lovely healthy hair.
My hair was way to cute to stay home all night so I decided to go to a concert with an old friend of mine which was cool. We visited with the performer and she was really nice. We then had ouw own mini jam session and exchanged playing songs for each other.
My cough is still going strong as ever. It is so frustrating. I think it is getting progressively worse, as well. MY doctor said it was a old but I am starting to think otherwise.
I am drugging myself with several shots of niquil each night and zonking out in some random part of the house.
I sent a “drunk” text to one of my roommates last night… I took twice as much tonight, we will see who gets texts and phone calls.
I made cookies today and am going to eat one before I go to bed.
Niquil is kicking in. Goodnight world.
xoxoxoxox
Anyone ever thought of suicide?
Jan 19, 2012 Uncategorized
Let me start by clarifying that I am not suicidal. I have just had many provoking thoughts about the subject.
Everyone knows someone who knows someone who committed suicide, and often times people think to themselves what would happen to them if someone close to themselves were to do the deed. If someone starts talking about suicide, most of societies advice is to “think about how you would affect your family. Think about your friends, think about this.” Which I COMPLETELY understand. On one hand suicide can be a very selfish act and most people when they think of what it would do to their family, stop entertaining the thought, or suppress it and they see how much they are loved yatta yatta..
However, I don’t think many people look at the depressed or anxious person’s point of view very often. If someone you know has taken their own life, yes, it is a very grievous thing and you are bombarded with thoughts of what you would’ve done differently to be there for that person, etc. But shouldn’t you have been there from the start? People are so fragile. How do you know how big the snow mound is that they are battling? How do we know which snowflake is going to cause the avalanche? We don’t. So we need to treat people like we would carry glass on top of a long pole. We need to treat people and their emotions so gently.
Back to the subject of someone who has already taken their life. Isn’t that such a sad, terrible, and depressing life that they honestly and truly felt like absolutely no one was there to help them, or if there were people there to help them, they were much past the point of no return.
Isn’t that sad, that that person had absolutely nothing to live for anymore?
Yes, suicide can be a selfish act. Depending on how you look at it. But I feel sad for people who blame them or hate them for “leaving them on earth” because that person must have felt that everyone left them!
Think about it. And treat people as if you could make it or break it for them. Would YOU want to be the snowflake that causes the avalanche?
Jan 18, 2012 Uncategorized
I am playing mommy today while my parents are in North Carolina! My little sister was sick this morning so I had to stay home with her. I am a little sick too, still so I can be grateful for some time to relax.
I attended my first class at the local college last night, and I absolutely loved it! My teacher is great and I absolutely love her teaching style and the things that are important to her. The kids in my class are really nice too! Usually there is awkward silence and no one participates or converses with one another but this class was so chill. Everyone volunteered and contributed to the conversation and it made for a really meaningful discussion!
An old friend of mine was in that class and it was great to catch up with him!
Anyways, more errands to run and plans to get ready for.
xoxoxo
Day 17.
Jan 18, 2012 Uncategorized
So today i was blessed with a few more hours at work today. MUCH NEEDED. Still looking for other job prospects.
My boss is moving to Idaho and is asking me to seriously think about it. She wants to fly me out in April to look at it and scope apartments/schools/church etc… We will see. I don’t think the job is stable enough to up and move but it would be somewhat of a new adventure to live out of state for a few months… Who knows, I might find something that keeps me up there.
Well, first thing tomorrow morning my parents fly out to North Carolina, so I am in charge of making sure all the kiddos get off to school OK.
So off to Mother’s house I go for the night.
Anyways,
xoxoxo
Just another day
Jan 17, 2012 Uncategorized
So today was just unconventional, given it was a holiday but work was a little weird. Worked til 2:30 then met up with my family at the movie theatres to watch Alvin and The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked. It was a really cute movie.
When I got home I made some chicken fettuccine Alfredo in honor of my roommates birthday. My other roommate, M, made the strawberry cake with cream cheese frosting and just let me say that it was DIVINE!
My Brother played hero tonight and brought me over some Niquil and I am now going to sleep Oh-so-peacefully.
xoxoxo
day 15
Jan 15, 2012 Uncategorized
Today is Sunday, and I am still miserably coughing. I am debating if i will even be able to do anything today.
Random vent of the day: I don’t like people trying to control my life. I am an adult. I want to live, act, and be treated like one. The decisions I make are going to help me or harm me and hopefully i can choose the ones that help me but if i do happen to choose one that will harm me, Then Heaven knows I will learn from it.
Tomorrow is my Roommates birthday and I don’t know what to do for her!
Anyways, that’s all for now.
xoxox
Saturday the 14th
Jan 15, 2012 Uncategorized
Turned to be an interesting day. I slept all day practically until about 5pm when i decided to get ready for the night.
Then the roommates and I hit up Red Robin to watch the bronco’s play and get in some quality bonding time. After the Bronco’s lost, we headed out to Peralta trail for a bon fire that was royally lame. After being there maybe half an hour the cops came and shut it down since it was on military testing grounds or something.
So we just came home and watched a movie.
It was a good Saturday night.
Friday, the 13th
Jan 14, 2012 Uncategorized
Let’s get SCARRRRRRED!!!! Tonight holds many unknown adventures… parties, ghost-hunting, and camping out in graveyards?! Who knows!!!!!! But it’s exciting! I am going out with my roommates and then whoever they decide to bring.
I’m just waiting for my hair to dry at the moment so I can style it. So I decided to get the blogging out of the way and watch an episode of “How I Met Your Mother”
Hope everyone stays safe and has a freaking fantastic time tonight!
xoxox
Looking for a job!
Jan 12, 2012 Uncategorized
SOOOO, This morning my boss asked me to come in early so that we could have a chat before the processing team came in. She informed me that the company has really slowed down a lot and she cannot afford to keep me full time so she would have to move me to part time. (I worked full time and sometimes over time and was the highest paid employee there).
So I now only work 9-1 for Lacy Bella Designs and am either looking for another part time job that I can work after 1 pm or just another full time job. Any and all information on any job openings would be great!!! I am open to do really anything… except become a stripper. Because If I wanted to do that I would be doing it already.
Anyways, That is today’s update.
Also signing up for institute tonight! <3
xoxox
Day 11?
Jan 12, 2012 Uncategorized
All the days are starting to blur together.
Basically today was kind of weird. I slept in and lounged around on Call Of Duty Black Ops.
My mom came over and delivered some cookies and we chatted for a bit.
A new friend called and was helping me with something that I wanted to get a bit more information on and then was doing some swing dancing lifts with me which was not a good idea when congested, constrained by a headache and sick.
I played some more COD and then went to my parents house to fax something to the bank and then came home to help my roommates out with some cleaning.
I am now listening to music in bed and really just not feeling all to well.
I go back to work tomorrow and my boss asked me to go in a little early so she could talk to me, So i am a little anxious and nervous to find out what it could be.
xoxoxox
Day 10. We are suckers
Jan 11, 2012 Uncategorized
So In the LDS culture, boys go on a 2 year mission and then when they come back a man the pressure of marriage is placed upon him. So before he even leaves, everyone is telling him how important it is and how getting married is the number one priority when the return. So they come home and girls swoon over these return missionaries and they become attracted. The boy likes the girl but is of course scared of all of the unknown’s and responsibilities that marriage brings, but with the constant knocking in the back of his head that he needs to get married he jumps in. The girl is so flattered and knows that he is the one and they start planning and then the guy starts being a guy and freaking out. Then he feels like he is rushing into it and then they get married and they get into their first argument and he blames all of the problems and “things not going right” on the fact they weren’t ready to get married. OK fine. But what isn’t fair, is guys should think about girls in this situation. Dating is hard for us. Even if we go on a different date every night. It is awkward and intimidating and harsh when you really think about it.
Think about it: Guys ask a girl out because at first he was physically attracted to her. So then they go out the girl has to try to be as appealing to your mind as she is to your eyes and it is all a contest between girls and we are constantly being judged and if we weren’t good enough he doesn’t call back. Every date is a potential rejection to us.
So when we agree to marry you, please make dang sure that you are ready and you want to spend the rest of your life with that one person. I see this all around and I think it is so sad. Because we are just trying to be absolutely everything for you, but you’re only rushing because “It’s what you’re supposed to do”
Anyways, that is enough of my rant for now. I read another blog tonight that created that thought and then my friend was talking to me about it, so i thought i would just rant about it..
Anyways. I am sick in bed and can’t stop coughing. and getting frustrated.
Anyways, I am going to cuddle up and get warm in bed.
xoxox
Monday is so the new Friday
Jan 10, 2012 Uncategorized
Tonight was crazy. Went to FHE, then went to a party in tempe, then went to the valgio in phx then had to get gas and oh jeez… it’s been a night and i don’t feel like writing much.
Tonight I was more nervous than I have been in ages.
xoxo
Day 8 part 2
Jan 9, 2012 Uncategorized
Well. I am single again. I’m not sure how I feel right now. But I know it’s for the best. Things are going to be really weird. Chad was my best friend. But people change and things happen and we have to be adults and move on. Even when It’s the hardest thing you have ever done.
That’s where I am at right now.
xoxo
Day 7
Jan 8, 2012 Uncategorized
So Today 1/7/12 I just lounged all day long. I unpacked some stuff, watched some movies, ate some food. But I stayed in my pajama’s all day long and didn’t do an ounce of make up. And I felt incredibly beautiful. My finace and I watched “He’s just not that into you” with my roommates last night and ate a lot of fast food and junk food. It was fun
Date Night!
Jan 7, 2012 Uncategorized
So Today I had a full day at work and then came home and got ready for a date with my man!!!
While I was getting ready, My roommates and I talked and goofed off a bit and it was a lot of fun. They have been so nice and welcoming and we get along great so far!
Chad and I are going to a friend’s wedding reception tonight and then to the Improv Coomedy Club, JeserZ! in tempe! And Then a bite to Eat at Red Robin! I am super excited! I got all dressed up and I can’t wait to hold his hand all night.
Anyways, I am going to get a few more things unpacked before he comes to pick me up! I just thought I would utilize my time and Blog before he came Because it will probably be a late night.
xoxox
Day 5
Jan 6, 2012 Uncategorized
Today, I witnessed Miracles. Each one of my , fears, and worries were address and resolved in a positive way one after another after another through out the day. I am so blessed. Even though things may become difficult or hard to bear, I have a relationship with God and at the end of the day that is what is important.
I also realized that the days I do not see my best friend are very dull days indeed. I am purposely leaving things for myself to do for when I really cannot escape my head that I can at least busy it and put it to work…
I am very excited for the new year and all that It seems to have in store for me. I am trying to remain positive no matter what.
I am doing very well with following my new years resolution. Just in case anyone was wondering
Well, I still have to get ready for bed, have scripture study and prayer and get a decent night’s rest. I have a full day of work ahead of me tomorrow.
xoxo
Day 4
Jan 5, 2012 Uncategorized
Today I started back at work for the first time in a week and a half. It was weird getting back to the grind but it is nice to know I will start receiving income again!
I spent a little bit of one on one time with a roommate as we went grocery shopping and she was really cool. Her name is Maria. She is the first one that befriended me. I think we will get along great.
I cooked in the kitchen for the first time. I made a chicken and cheese casidilla. It was yummmmyyyy!
I start school soon! i am very excited!
Chad and I talked for a very long time tonight about life and the church and shared scriptures and insights. I am loving my personal daily scripture study and am learning so much.
I love my friends and family. And am learning more and more each day that we should really only focus on what REALLY matters.
Also, Another realization that I had is that many times we find adults condescending younger teens because they are “heartbroken” or something of the sort, claiming that they are too young to feel that way. But What I have discovered is, Just because they are young doesn’t mean that they don’t have feelings. It is still going to hurt them when they trust someone and that same someone lies to them, or the person that they had developed feelings for decided that they no longer want to be them, or their friends aren’t being real friends, etc. Our younger generation has feelings too and when problems arise, so do their emotions, just like adults. We need to treat them more like human beings instead of emotionless robots until they are of “age”.
That’s it for now. Work again tomorrow and a bit more unpacking and organizing to do.
Day 3.
Jan 4, 2012 Uncategorized
So far, so Good! It is day three and I am still on track with a post a day.
Well, Today I realized that my fiance and I have always been honest with each other, even when it was very difficult. Honesty is not something you find in many relationships these days, in our society. I recognized this as a huge blessing in my life and am extremely grateful for that.
My Uncle’s funeral was this morning. He was such a great man, Always filling the lungs of people around him with laughter. He was in agonizing pain the last few years and in and out of the hospital all too frequently the past few months, so we are grateful that he is no longer in pain. Just thinking about him makes me smile! We adored each other.
After the funeral, I made a lunch and took it to my fiance. We went to a park by the zoo and had a private gazebo by the lake. So we ate and studied the scriptures together and shared principles with one another. I love that we help each other to be better rather than bringing each other down. Encouragement means a lot in a relationship as well.
I then spent the remainder of the day unpacking and sorting through boxes in my new house. I made much head way and am very pleased with how much I accomplished!
My fiance also came over and put together my bed and fixed my closet doors.
I tried Starbucks hot chocolate that comes in a packet and you create it yourself, and most of the time those things never taste as delicious as the original, but this tasted just like it! I was SO pleased! I have a whole box of em that my fiance got for me since I am so addicted! So now I can always have a cup of my favorite hot chocolate!!
I think it is important to focus on just simple things that make us happy, like my packets of Starbucks hot chocolate, because there are so many of them. When life gets you down there is not room to overlook the little things. One small smile is worth it!
xoxo
Dez
Ps. I am a ninja. 
realization
Jan 2, 2012 Uncategorized
I realized that Myself, along with many others out there, would probably be much happier if we quit over-analyzing things. I am going to work on that this year.
This is Jan. 2nd’s post. Day two and I’m still on track. In case you haven’t followed, my goal is to write once a day. At least something every day,
I have today and tomorrow off work. Today is full of getting ready for schools and classes, unpacking and moving in, and lots of errands and little chores.
Tomorrow is my Uncle’s funeral who sadly passed away on Christmas day due to congestive heart failure He is in a better place now and is no longer in such pain. He had such a hard life.
I recently bought my own car as well. So i’m glad to be establishing credit. It’s a cute lil car too. a 02 Acura RSX. I really like it.
Everything is going great with my Fiance and I. We have very much enjoyed spending time together throughout the holidays. He is so supportive and helpful.
I am very hopeful for this new year. I think it will bring good things.
Happy Monday. y’all!
2012
Jan 2, 2012 Uncategorized
My goal is to write at least one thought a day. So here is my thought for Jan. 1 ,2012. Our computers did not crash. we survived.
And it’s really important to keep in mind what REALLY matters to you. because you never know if the floor is going to drop from out under you.